Neither married, nor mothers, nor consecrated: the misunderstood vocation of single women

When Abram heard the “voice,” he left Haran and departed, as commanded, at 75 years of age. Jonah, by contrast, boarded a ship to avoid going to Nineveh as instructed by the Lord. Mary of Nazareth responded, “Here I am”. Only when she heard her name spoken did Mary Magdalene open her eyes, thus transformed into the first witness of the Resurrection and apostle to the apostles.

The accounts of God’s irruption into the lives of women and men are among the most powerful and poetic in the Old and New Testaments. The call comes in a multitude of ways, just as the dialogue between Creator and creature is manifold.

The Council rediscovered the profoundly biblical nature of the term vocation, which for centuries had been forgotten in ecclesial practice. Yet over 60 years later, this awareness seems confined to the ink of official documents. Pastoral practice, prayer intentions, and the common discourse of parishes and associations remain stubbornly anchored to the binary of “marriage or consecration for the Kingdom”. When it comes to helping young people find their path, the Church seems unable to go beyond this familiar framework.

What of the others, particularly women? Those who are neither married, nor religious, nor mothers—has God not addressed them too? Or, are they alone because they are too lazy to follow Him? Is everything they do and create in their lives—through work, relationships, friendships, and affection—just a substitute for the one vocation they were unable to fulfill?

The doubt of bearing some vague guilt haunts those who feel they are represented solely as failed spouses or consecrated persons. Moreover, no amount of well-meaning projects, whether real or virtual, to introduce single Catholic men and women can atone for this oversight.

What would be more useful is investing time and resources in a deep reflection on vocation—as Pope Francis stated, the search for the unique place in the world envisioned by God for each person—and states of life. These are two concepts that do not necessarily overlap. Perhaps it is time to consider that for many, being single is the result of taking the sacrament of marriage seriously—not as an abstract desire to join with someone, but as a commitment to unite with the one person with whom two lives, two stories, two bodies can become one without losing their individuality.

By Lucia Capuzzi
Journalist for “Avvenire”