The name alone. A subtle discrimination that also affects the Church

I admit it. Reluctantly, but I admit it. There is one thing that really bothers me in the Church, and it concerns its relationship with women. I am talking about the habit of calling women by their first name alone in those same contexts in which men are given a surname and, above all, a title or a “role”.

 “An example? Some time ago, I attended a debate on “Women and the Church”,  whch had been organized by the local Pastoral of Tourism, in a vacation destination. Three women were invited, three mature and well-known professionals, one of whom also holds an institutional role. At the end of the meeting, the priest who had organized the event thanked the three women by their first name, while at the same time thanking the bishop present by calling him “Your Excellency” and followed with his full name. A similar thing also happened at the end of the Synod on Synodality, when, while thanking the organizers, the only person called by just her first name by Pope Francis was Sister Natalie Becquart, the same person the Pope had historically appointed as undersecretary of the Synod. Why? Let us consider that all of this might have been motivated by the best of intentions, perhaps even by a certain closeness and a shared understanding, a sincere affection, and deep respect. Nevertheless, beyond all this, I believe we need to pause and reflect on the deeper, often unconscious, meaning that calling a woman by her first name while a man is given a surname and titles might convey, which is to infantilize her.

“It is a bit paradoxical that this happens in contexts like the ones mentioned, and by people like those involved, who deeply respect women and are taking strong and decisive action for a substantial change in the relationship between women and the Church. With actions, therefore, that in fact contradict and weaken their words and choices. This is why we should start reflecting on this behavior, pay attention to them, all of us, and start with us women. As profound changes come through words, through common attitudes, through critical thinking, which reflects on the meaning of certain actions and their consequences, and though often unconscious, not for that reason without importance”.

by Sabina Fadel
Vice Director, “Messaggero di Sant’Antonio”