The silent exodus

“It wasn’t me who left the Church. It was the Church that left me. In fact, it never truly welcomed me. It took me a while to understand that. Then, all of a sudden, it became clear. I remember the exact moment. I was watching the moving images of John Paul II’s funeral on TV. Nevertheless, something bothered me. Then, suddenly, the realization hit me, all those present were men. Where were the women? I asked myself. Moreover, I keep asking myself this question. It was not easy to stop considering myself Catholic. At first, I felt guilty, as if I were betraying my family. Sometimes, I still miss the community. However, I cannot go back. My daughters, who have a more detached perspective, helped me see things more clearly. Why should I be part of an institution that marginalizes women and even justifies this exclusion with doctrinal and theological reasons?”.

In Marta’s words, a teacher, who is nearly 60 years old, she echoes the pain of many.

Sabina, 46, a freelancer, states, “The other day I couldn’t take it anymore and I walked out. The priest’s homily was so self-righteous, empty, and irritating. He was talking about Adam and Eve, but he clearly did not know Eve at all. Yet he felt entitled to speak on her behalf, and on behalf of all women, saying women want this, women are made for that, women are capable of this and that”. Lina, a 38-year-old social worker, adds, “I wanted to baptize my eldest son. I am not sure why, it was an impulse. When I told the parish priest, he started grilling me with questions. In reality, I wanted to ask him about the Gospel, about Jesus, and faith. I attended catechism as a child, but then nothing. I wanted to understand, and reconnect. He did not give me the chance. Because I was married in a registry office – he immediately pointed out – he could not give me absolution or the Eucharist. I had not asked him for anything. He listed a series of rules I did not understand. I never went back”. “I lead a molecular medicine research group”, says Alice, 50. “Every time I entered the parish, I felt like I was thrown back thirty years. There, I was a mom, a wife, nothing more. They only considered me for caregiving roles. I stopped going”.

These are not isolated episodes. Women in the 21st century have a stack of “grievance notebooks” against the Church.

However, in most cases, these are not merely hostile claims. As often happens, the voice of the Spirit can be heard in these complaints, says American theologian Bradford Hinze, who teaches at Fordham University in New York. The growing disaffection of female believers could, therefore, be a sign of the times. The phenomenon is widespread, as highlighted by the social sciences. In Italy, the latest “Youth Report” from the Toniolo Institute reveals an  exodus of young women from the Church. A phenomenon that began gradually in the 1960s and has erupted with increasing force in recent decades, especially with Generation Z (those born between 1996 and 2010). As early as 2014, theologian Armando Matteo, who is now secretary of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, drew attention to the “flight of women in their forties”. However, the warning went unheard.

Currently, 33 percent of Italian women under 30 identify as being Catholic. This figure compared to almost double that number (62 percent) ten years ago. Those who identify as atheists have increased from 12 to 29.8 percent, which is similar to their male peers. Until now, women had been the “exception” to the growing mistrust of religious practices and affiliations. This is no longer the case, both in Italy and throughout the rest of Europe.

In the U.S., the shift has been even more striking from an ecumenical perspective. According to a recent survey by the Survey Center on American Life, 54 percent of young women are leaving various Christian denominations, compared to 46 percent of young men. According to director Daniel Cox and program coordinator and researcher Kelsey Eyre, “An accumulation of negative experiences” is the reason for the departure. This departure is typically silent. “The sound of a woman leaving the Church is like one hand clapping”, wrote Geraldine Gorman, a nursing professor and nonviolence activist, in an open letter published in the National Catholic Reporter last year, when sharing her own experience.

Every woman has her own personal list of frustrations experienced in the ecclesiastical context. The failure to recognise the emancipation achieved, albeit with all its limitations, in the civil sphere, the growing divergence between sexual morality and individual behaviour, the exclusion, de facto, from positions of responsibility and, de jure, from ordained ministries. “The female symbolism constructed by the Church is something in which the serious women of this era can no longer recognise themselves”, says Italian theologian Selene Zorzi. “Not only are all the central positions entrusted to men: the celebration of the Eucharist, prayer, the leadership of the community, as Catholics experience daily. Even the language is male. In the eyes of the Church, moreover, women are essentially mothers and wives and only secondarily workers. Those who do not have a heterosexual family or children or are single do not feel recognised”, stresses Gunda Werner, professor of Dogmatics at the University of Bochum, Germany, and spokesperson for the Forum of Catholic women theologians.

This issue is especially disruptive in the Global North but is beginning to emerge elsewhere as well. In Latin America, for example, there has been a decline in catechists in recent years. While the bishops of the continent, during the Aparecida Conference in 2007, spoke of the absence of men in church communities, this decline now reveals the distancing of women, particularly younger women. Their disillusionment is expressed not so much by “fleeing” but by limiting the time and space they dedicate to the Church. A similar pattern is occurring in Africa and Asia.

In short, judging by the geographical breadth with which the cry of women has emerged from the continental reports presented at the Universal Synod female, this discontent is a global phenomenon. The listening and discernment process initiated by the Synod has finally brought this issue to the forefront. One outcome was the unprecedented presence, in the first session in October 2023, of 54 “synodal mothers” with voting rights. “The Synod made it clear that women’s dissatisfaction was perceived. However, it is still not fully understood in its deeper causes. Women’s words are being heard, but the truths contained in those words are less acknowledged—especially when they imply a transformation in the listener”, stresses Argentine theologian Carolina Bacher, a researcher at the Catholic University Silva Henriquez in Santiago, Chile, and an expert in synodality.

“In any case, the first Assembly expressed, with great clarity and a sense of responsibility—thanks also to the presence of women—the desire for change. In this sense, the Synod has reignited the process of a paradigm shift that was initiated by Vatican II, the ‘evangelical revolution,’ whose core is a new relationship between the masculine and feminine in Jesus, far from the patriarchal standards of both then and now”, says Father Piero Coda, General Secretary of the International Theological Commission. The Summary Report strongly calls for “a real recognition and specific appreciation of the presence and contribution of women, and for promoting pastoral responsibilities in the life and mission of the Church”.

The documents submitted ahead of the second session highlight these urgent issues. “In particular, they call for greater participation of women in decision-making processes and the enhancement of their roles, starting with what is already possible, both in teaching and in the assignment of responsibilities within dioceses and canonical processes”, explains Father Giacomo Costa, Special Secretary of the Synod on Synodality.

The direction is clear, and there is no need for further assembly work on this. Instead, the focus should be on how to implement these changes. For this reason, without waiting for the conclusions of the next synodal assembly, Pope Francis has entrusted one of the ten ad hoc Working Groups—composed synodally of experts, both male and female—to further study the issue. The fifth commission, in particular, will be tasked with examining “certain theological and canonical questions surrounding specific forms of ministry” regarding the participation of baptized women in ecclesial life. Their conclusions are expected “preferably by June 2025”, but a progress report on the analysis will be presented at the Synod beforehand. “In fact, the issue of women is transversal and affects all groups, from formation to debates on controversial ethical issues. The decision to assign it to these commissions should not be seen as an attempt to remove it from the general discussion, which will focus on the synodality of the Church. Quite the contrary. It shows that the topic has clearly emerged and does not need further debate but rather focused efforts to take the necessary steps”, emphasizes Father Coda.

The moment is delicate. Alongside the expectations of many women and men there are also the fears of those who worry about the risk of a “Gattopardian” drift in a process that is objectively complex. Concerns have been heightened following the Pope’s apparent rejection of female diaconate—a topic expressly under the scope of the fifth working group—in his interview last May with CBS. “We are in the middle of a journey. It is therefore crucial that neither side interrupts the dialogue. The dialogue is not concluded until both parties are satisfied”, emphasizes Carolina Bacher. “Any statement must be framed within the context of an open conversation, where decisions reflect the agreement reached so far. It would be wise to establish structures where the conflict can continue to be discussed, and tensions can surface without fear. The Church has faced heated debates before in its history. Tradition itself provides us with valuable guidance on how to proceed. The paradigm continues to be the one described in the Acts of the Apostles at the Council of Jerusalem, when it was decided that Christians from other traditions were not required to follow the rules of Judaism. The principle invoked by Peter at the time was to ‘not impose more burdens than necessary.’ That principle was valid then, and it remains valid today. This ‘option for the minimum’ is a criterion of synodal discernment, discerning what the Spirit wants to say to the Church today”.

By Lucia Capuzzi
A Journalist for the Italian newspaper, “Avvenire”